«I can also get hung up on what the mind ‘thinks’ the song should be and miss what the song ‘is’, I have to give it its freedom.»
Someone once said to me ‘you have some great killer lines’, I hadn’t given it much thought up to that point, a killer line? I said, ‘Yes, it’s a line holding much more than the sum of its parts, it’s a line that doesn't just say one thing, but one you can find an entire world within’.
I hadn’t really believed up until this point that I could write lyrics. I had written ‘Theatre Cafe’ and it had given me some feeling of what I was capable of, however, the feeling was fleeting until that conversation; my eyes had started to open and I wanted to walk through them.
It had been those types of artists that had inspired me, the ones who take you so close to what they are saying, musically as well as lyrically, that if you just stretched out your hand you could almost touch it...
"It's only after some time when I can begin to remove myself from them that they reveal exactly who they are to me."
Yes, for a while I can bask in what they are and sing them a few times. But at this stage I may not see them exactly for what they are, its only after some time when I can begin to remove myself from them that they reveal exactly who they are to me.
The mind can begin to take over when I'm in the midst of a song, it can begin to be critical and judgmental about what I am writing. I have to let this go in order to get fluidity. I can also get hung up on what the mind ‘thinks’ the song should be and miss what the song ‘is’, I have to give it its freedom.
The cluttered mind is not the ideal place to write from. The more tangled my mind is the more the chaos controls what I write. It’s only when I release myself from the busy mind that it then becomes receptive and reveals itself to me. So in a way, I have to find that place where I’m the most open because that's where the jewels are waiting for me.
I get a sense of it and ruminate on it. I try to see it, as if entering a place I’ve never been to before and I’m soaking in everything, but I also know it very well too, as if I’ve always known it but perhaps I’m only just being introduced.
Sometimes, I may just get small bread crumbs that I have to follow and I have no idea where they are taking me but I know I want to find out.
Well, I never stay on one side of the argument or perspective. It's the places in-between that interest me the most. To be neither one thing or the other, neither right nor wrong, black nor white, real or unreal, broken or unbroken. I want to feel my way into where the cracks open up in-between. Sometimes it's the collision between those places and their relationship with one another that fascinate me too. That our indentities are never solid, so neither are our opinions or our beliefs. I like to stay open within that place where nothing is definitive and that hugely inspires me.
It's quite hard to decide between the two because they are just different. When I'm performing I feel a freedom I rarely feel anywhere else, it seems to be quite unique to performing. When it's really good, you've fully let go and relinquished yourself to that moment. Sure you can feel like this in ordinary life, but it's the audience staring back at you that gives it, its intensity. You may not be totally aware at the time that you've reached that place, as you've managed to tune out your thoughts, but afterwards you may realise. Writing is finding a similar place but the freedom is connected with the mystery of yourself. An unraveling of something that you can sense, is freeing. And within that solitude, you are revealing yourself to you. In a way, they are the opposite ends of one another and yet the same place.